|10/10 women agree that I'm beautiful, if not a Goddess.|
She details how men frequently order her bottles of Champagne or wine, *yawn* how cliche - aren't we all? Hop off your high-horse Samantha, I was once lucky enough when out clubbing with my frankly mediocre-looking counterparts, to be given half a plastic cup of Vodka and Redbull - jealous? I thought so. Big Whoop, someone once presented you with a 'beautiful bunch of flowers' in London's Portobello Road Market! I get accosted on a weekly basis by men practically imploring me to buy their Big Issues, blatantly because of my irresistible appearance in my provocative Primark jumper and flattering, slightly-too-long sixth form trousers. So, okay, I'm no Megan Fox, but that's because I'm frankly far more attractive. The only reason I haven't been approached by modelling companies is because I'd prove so devastatingly sexy that I'd distract potential customers from any products I'd be advertising.
I find whenever I'm in group photos or singing at concerts I'm often begged to stand right at the front. I'm told it's because I'm "too short" to be seen, but I know that really, it's because no one wants my astounding looks to be wasted, but are too polite to admit that to all my ugly or at best, mildly hideous, friends. Teachers at school regularly victimise me for wearing 'inappropriate' length skirts to school, under the pretense that they 'don't conform to school regulations' - bollocks. It's purely because they are old, ugly, and jealous of my disproportionately fat arse and short legs. Well, that, and because they know that the coded doors at school simply aren't enough to prevent men breaking in and falling at my feet, desperate to tell me how incredible I am.
|It took a lot to work up such a radiant pink complexion .|
|Beer is the secret to my beauty|
So come on guys, enough of the hate, we rare to find, super-hot Goddesses should be celebrated, nay, worshiped for our modesty and charm. All together now, 'I'm sexy and I know it!'
(By 'I'm sexy' - you obviously mean; 'Charlotte's sexy')